


Rebirth

by AthleteGirl



Category: Beth Greene Lives - Fandom, Carol Peletier - Fandom, Merle Dixon Lives - Fandom, Merle/Beth - Fandom, Negan - Fandom, daryl dixon - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 21:13:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11700012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthleteGirl/pseuds/AthleteGirl
Summary: The prison group is captured by Negan and Beth is forced to pay a heavy price for the safety of her family. This is a METH story and it's darker than my usual fare. I do promise METH smut! This is technically a TV/Comic crossover but if I list it that way it doesn't show up on the TV fan fiction site. I own NOTHING related to The Walking Dead comic or TV show.





	1. Chapter 1

Author Note: OK, this one is darker than most that I write. I just wanted to try a crossover and of course it has to be Meth…..and since Negan is one dark motherfucker I’m going with it. I foresee this being a 3-5 chapter story. With eventual hot Meth smut. So don’t despair Methers, Bethy will eventually get her man.

Warning: Rape in this chapter. I chose Negan because Negan is a masochistic misogynistic raping motherfucker who just happens to have entertaining diction.

REBIRTH

Negan. It almost soumds like Satan Beth thought as his cold brown eyes raked her from head to toe. Her daddy had tried to hide her, to shield her from his gaze but it was only a matter of time before he saw her. “No,” ordered Hershel uselessly and Maggie screamed through her gagged teeth as Negan’s men pushed Beth forward. She remembered Carol crying and Glen being knocked to the ground as Negan exclaimed, “Fuckedy fuckin’ fuck. Look at this, boys! A little angel come down from heaven to land right on Negan’s cock!” Merle, Rick and Daryl had been dragged into the room, bloody and barely conscious. Carol was nursing a bruised eye and holding a screaming Judith.

Negan explained the terms to her. Beth’s servitude in exchange for her family’s safety. Hershel pleaded, “Please God no, she’s just a child.” One of Negan’s men knocked Hershel onto his back and the men laughed. “Daddy,” keened Beth. She looked up to see Merle’s eyes focusing on her as he struggled to rise through the fog. She sobbed and Negan roughly pulled her back by the hair. “I can cut that old man’s other leg off and feed it to him. Or just let Lucille have him,” he hissed through his teeth as he caressed the side of her face with the barbed-wire baseball bat, drawing blood in several places. Beth looked at the group. She shook her head. “Please don’t hurt any of them. I’ll do anything,” she said. 

Negan laughed. “I’m not going to guarantee all a them sweetheart and you will do anything and everything I ask. First off though, I’m not going to hurt a little baby, no Negan is not a monster, so consider that baby safe. You get three people. The points you earn in my bed will safeguard them in my compound.” Beth looked into his eyes and saw cold glittering evil. She knew that her card had been pulled. It was time to name the people she would die for. “Daddy and Maggie, my sister, “ she cried as he yanked her hair back. He looked unabashedly down her shirt as he said, “And who else do I owe these perky little titties to?” Beth’s head craned to the side and she saw Merle had risen to his knees with his mouth agape, blood dripping on the floor. “Merle,” she whispered. “My fiancée.”

TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD

Negan was delighted at the prospect of separating Beth from Merle. He had taken a dislike to Merle ever since Lucille had broken Merle’s jaw for the unflattering comments that Merle had aired about Negan’s presence in the prison. Negan looked over at Beth as they drove back to the mill. No fucking way she’d ever been fucked, that’s for sure. She’s one bible-banging bitch for sure and one of the sweetest fucking things he’d ever seen with her porcelain skin and huge blue eyes. Barely legal at best, prime Grade A jailbait. Wonder what she was doing with that one-handed redneck loser? And why didn’t that idiot fuck the shit out of her? Maybe he couldn’t get it up Negan thought.

Beth looked out of the window of the jeep as it rolled towards the mill. She had read long ago that Holocaust survivors had dissociated their minds from their bodies in the concentration camps in order to survive. That no matter how their body was defiled their mind was somewhere else, somewhere they could control. She prayed silently to God for that strength. She thought of the last six weeks with Merle, how she had pursued him and been spurned until the chaotic day that he broke. How he had confessed his love for her, but how he said he couldn’t ever be with her, could never live up to her. She had dug in and persisted saying she’d loved him since she met him and soon they were sleeping together and while they had fooled around plenty he had never had intercourse with her. She hadn’t yet broken that wall. How she wished……a sob escaped her and she hurriedly stifled it. Negan looked over and lovingly toyed with her long blonde hair. “Don’t worry my new little toy. I won’t kill them. Won’t even hurt them because I know you love me. Don’t you?” She turned her head and looked into the eyes of a maniac. She nodded wordlessly and looked at the floorboard.

Susan gasped when Negan led Beth into the penthouse. She’s just baby Susan thought, and scared to death. Negan showed Beth around and laughed at Beth’s inability to look the scantily clad older women in the eye. “This one’s fresh,” he exclaimed. “So fresh that I don’t want to wait. Get her cleaned up and dressed, I gotta cherry to pop tonight!” He left Beth in the care of Susan. Beth’s eyes were filled with unshed tears and she shook when the older lady guided her by the arm. With her long blond forelock she looked like a wild pony that had been lassoed and trip wired in the dust.

After she was bathed and dressed in crotchless black panties, a black and red bustier and garter belt and hose Susan tried to hand her a pill. “Here sweetie, this will take the edge off. Maybe you won’t feel it. Maybe you won’t remember.” Beth shook her head wordlessly and refused the pill. Susan recalled every fantasy of killing Negan that she had ever had, and she added another one for this innocent little girl. Susan rubbed her arm. “It will only hurt this one time,” she whispered to Beth. “Just stay strong and one day you may grow to like it.” Beth’s eyes raised to Susan’s and she summoned the ghost of a smile. “May God bless you,” whispered Beth and she sat in the corner to pray until Negan returned.

He returned with bloodlust in his eyes, fresh from humiliating the prison group during their introduction into his compound. He was ready for his treat now. His eyes fell upon Beth who was deep in prayer in a dark corner of the room. He shook with laughter. “Oh, I’ll have you praying to God soon enough my little teenage prom queen!” he trumpeted. “Get the fuck out,” he ordered the other women. 

Beth knew it would be painful but she hadn’t expected it to be so personal. And humiliating. Negan sweated and groaned between her legs and slapped her face when she tried to pray. When it was over he made her kiss him and say she loved him. He took her again before he left. When she was sure he was gone she staggered to the window, wanting to leap out, but she found iron bars in place. She fell to her knees and curled into a ball sobbing and praying for death. She woke up warm and slightly comforted the next morning on the floor, there was a blanket on her and Susan was curled around her protectively.

He used her at will the next couple of weeks and she divorced her mind from her body. This body is but a vessel for my soul she thought. One day he came in with something under his arm. “You see my little prom queen Negan can be quite nice. I brought you a present since you’ve been such a dirty little slut for me.” Beth’s sad eyes raised to his questioningly and he threw the book down on the table in front of her. A bible. With shaking hands she gently touched the cover and opened it. It truly was a bible. “Thank you,” she said hoarsely. He laughed. “No offense, but you’re a really lousy lay. I’ve got the taste for warm and willing tonight. You can spend the night reading.” Beth nodded faintly. “Thank you Negan. I love you,” she said automatically.

Three weeks into her stay he offered to take her to her family. She looked up hopefully then looked down at the clothes she was forced to wear. “Can I wear my regular clothes?” she asked. Negan laughed and said, “Of course, I don’t want anyone else looking at what I get to fuckety fuck. You’ll see them in an hour.” Beth cleared her throat. “Negan,” she asked. He turned to her. “Please not Merle,” she said. He laughed again. “No problem princess. Just your daddy and your sister. Hell I might even throw the baby in.”

Beth couldn’t stand the thought of anyone seeing her in her shame, but she needed her family so badly that she had agreed to his offer. But she couldn’t face Merle. Couldn’t stand for him to know what she had done with Negan. She felt her throat closing and the tears stinging her eyes. She knew it was a mortal sin but she planned on taking her own life the very first chance she got. At least now she would get to see her family one last time. She knew they would never forgive her. She knew Merle would.

She and Hershel and Maggie hugged and cried for what seemed like hours. She looked down in shame but they rained kisses on her face and prayed to God for them to overcome their burden. They even got to have Judith for a while and Beth poured buckets of tears on the sweet baby’s face then laughed at her new faces and sounds. “Daddy, how’s Merle?” she finally asked. Hershel looked at her gravely. “His jaw is broken Bethy but it’s healing. I can’t say the same for his heart,” he said. Beth nodded and hugged her dear father, knowing that each time could be their last. “Tell him I’ll never love another,” she said earnestly. “Daddy tell him I know that now.” Hershel sobbed for his daughter’s ordeal and Negan’s men broke them apart to return Beth to the penthouse. 

As she climbed the metal steps up to the second story door she looked down to see Merle standing with a work group of men around a generator. His eyes bored into her and she stopped, unable to look away. A heavy hand descended on the back of her neck and squeezed and she dropped to her knees in pain. “You’re Negan’s now,” hissed a male voice. “Best get into the building and stop looking at the filth.” Beth sobbed and ducked into the doorway, hearing Merle’s furious roar from below. She burned the image of Merle into her brain knowing it was likely the last one she’d have.


	2. Rebirth 2

Author note: The single biggest factor in keeping me writing is REVIEWS! Please leave comments! THANK YOU, AG

 

Negan allowed his women weekly family visits. They were allowed to wear street clothes and to hug and kiss their children but couldn’t hug or kiss their husbands. It wasn’t easy but Susan and Luke had been using these times to surreptitiously plan their escape. Slowly, week-by-week, they used camouflaged comments and pointed looks while discussing the children in front of Negan’s men. She had not confided with any of the women or guards in the penthouse because she knew the penalty would be worse than death for conspiring against Negan and there were always people looking to uncover such plots to gain his favor. Luke was feeling out the new people from the prison because they seemed to be cut from a stronger cloth than the beaten down people of the mill. Maybe with their help and the element of surprise they could tip the balance in their favor. He reasoned that because Negan had been concentrating most of his energy on Rick that appealing to the other men from the prison could be successful.

Two months after Beth’s introduction to the group Susan waited in the penthouse for the guards to take her down for her visit. She frowned when she recalled the flash of terror that flitted over Beth’s face whenever Negan requested her, and it strengthened her resolve. Luke would bring Merle and the other prison men into the plan. Susan would enlist Beth. The time was now. The girl would just have to hope that her family would catch up with her in the future. She hoped things were going well for Luke with the prison group.

Luke approached Merle first. Merle regarded Luke with expressionless eyes as Luke nervously conveyed the plan. Negan’s activities were unpredictable so they had to be ready to strike at any time. The takedown would involve seduction so it would most likely begin at night. That meant that the men had to be prepared at all times. Merle was responsible for telling the people from the prison about the plan. He had to decide which direction they would travel so if they got separated they could eventually regroup, if they made it out of the mill alive in the first place. He had to regroup with Luke within a week to solidify the plans.

Merle knew that if Negan was left alive anyone left would likely be tortured for information. His icy gaze bored through Luke and his lip curled in a silent snarl as he recalled the groups’ first night in the mill. He had been lying in his cot sweating in pain from having his jaw wired. He was roused by a visit from Negan himself, who tossed the used bloody condom on Merle’s chest. Negan laughed, “Saw your girl tonight Dixon. Tight little pussy on that one but all the praying and crying got on my nerves. You should thank me brother, I saved you from the worst lay of your life.” 

Merle shook himself from the memory and nodded silently to Luke. He was getting his little girl out of here, or they were all gonna die tryin’. Either way they’d be better off than they were now.

Susan started laying the groundwork for the plan. One evening while Negan lay in bed sated she suggested that with the right drugs to relax her and the right training from someone she trusted, Beth could end up being an attentive member of his stable. She demurely suggested several other women in the group that could help train Beth and offered her own services as well. Weeks later Negan entered with a case of wine, a vial of ecstasy and some amyl nitrate and demanded an orgy. He forced Beth to drink two glasses of wine quickly and laughed uproariously at her flushed cheeks. Susan nodded at her encouragingly and Beth giggled and fell into his lap. “Well I’ll be fucked,” said Negan. He demanded that all the women drink and handed out the ecstasy to everyone. He watched Beth down hers with wine but was distracted by the others pulling on his clothes. Beth carefully spit hers out and hid it in the chair cushion. She watched how the others behaved on the drug and mimicked them, staying away from the action. Then she faked passing out.

Negan had found Beth’s drunken behavior encouraging. Having a hot piece of pussy that cried all of the time had been a downer. He wanted Beth riding him with enthusiasm. The next week Negan demanded a session with only Susan and Beth. This is what they’d been waiting for and Susan was able to get the signal down to Luke by an encrypted message sent down through the guards. Luke passed the message to Daryl who sent it through the prison group. If Negan didn’t change his mind in the next hour they would have their chance.

“Outta fuckin E ladies!” announced Negan. “We’ll have to party with weed and rum!” He looked at Susan. “Rum I know you can handle.” He looked at Beth, she had forced herself to look hopeful when he came in then disappointed when he didn’t mention wine. “I’m not sure that I can,” said Beth, her nose wrinkling when he held the open bottle under her nose. Negan cupped her chin and said, “Don’t worry prom queen, I got you covered.” He reached into his leather jacket and pulled out two cans of cola. Beth forced herself to smile and say, “I hope you can teach me how to drink it Negan. I love you.” She thought of the knife he strapped to his calf and hoped this would work.

They started to party and Beth realized that there was no way she could fake drinking the rum, so she did her best to drink it slowly. But Negan had her siting on the arm of his chair to fondle her and he made sure that she had enough to drink to make her giddy. The more she drank the funnier the whole situation seemed and when she fell off the arm of the chair onto the floor and sat on her ass giggling uncontrollably. Susan tensed in anticipation of Neegan’s reaction but he laughed out loud. “Prom queen is a fuckin’ lightweight!” he whooped. Beth tried to answer but she only managed to slur and Negan laughed harder. Probably better this way thought Susan. She rose on her knees and unbuckled Neegan’s belt. “Time to start Beth’s education,” she said to him.

“Oh yeah baby, suck it,” murmured Negan down to Susan’s bobbing head. “Show her how to suck that cock.” He reached down to grab Beth by the hair and pulled her up alongside Susan. Susan looked sideways at Beth who seemed to be having problems focusing. She had Beth switch places with her and as she gave her instructions she reached under the armchair to find the knife she had hidden carefully long ago. It was still there. She moved up to unbutton Negan’s shirt and to suck his nipples, rubbing her breasts on his chest and face. She bent down to kiss his neck because Negan did not allow the women to kiss him on the mouth. She bent to whisper in his ear. “Will you teach her to eat my pussy Negan? You’re the best after all.” Negan smiled and put his arms around her to push Beth’s head farther down onto his cock. Susan could see he was close. “Fondle his balls Beth so he can cum in your mouth. Once you taste Negan you’ll never want anyone else.” Susan smiled wickedly as she twisted Negan’s nipple with one hand and she looked into his eyes. “She’ll learn,” she breathed. Negan’s head tipped back as the orgasm hit him and Susan’s arm swiftly sank the knife in his neck.


	3. Rebirth 3

Here’s the next installment…..

 

Beth gagged and struggled for breath, tears running out of her eyes. Negan was hammering the back of her throat and his hands were forcing her head down as he thrusted. She shut her eyes and prayed that it would be over soon as she thought of Judith and her family and the farm. He stilled and she screwed her eyes tighter shut as the hot semen flooded her mouth. She hated the taste of him and instinctively reared her head back and fell back on her hands, spitting the contents of her mouth out on the carpeted floor. She wiped her mouth and looked up to see Susan still standing over Negan but his huge hand was wrapped around her neck and blood was running down the front of both of them. Susan’s knee was pinning down his other arm but his feet were kicking at her.

Beth leaped to her feet and ran to Susan’s aid. Susan had gotten him in the throat so he couldn’t form words but his mouth was moving and he was loudly grunting as he tried to squeeze the life out of her. Blood was running out of his neck with an occasional soft gush. She had only nicked the jugular vein and though Negan was weakening he still had plenty in him to overpower her. The knife had fallen into the chair cushions and Negan was trying to get it with the hand that Susan had pinned. Quickly Beth knelt down and pulled the knife out of his calf strap. She knew if she didn’t act now that she and everyone she knew would be executed. She quickly walked behind the chair, yanked Negan’s chin back and sank it into the carotid and jugular vessels deep in the right side of his neck. Blood spurted to the ceiling and soaked Susan who was turning blue. Negan’s body began to relax and when his grip loosened Susan dropped to the floor, taking in huge loud gasps of air.

Beth dropped to the floor, feeling dizzy. It had all been so fast but it was only the first part of the plan. There was so much more left to do, it almost seemed hopeless. And I’ve just killed a man she thought. I’ve murdered in cold blood. She stared stonily at the back of the chair and she started to shake. She saw Susan rise up to her hands and knees, then brace herself against the arm of the chair to stand. Susan looked into Negan’s dying eyes. “See you in Hell, fuckhole” she hissed in his pale face. Soon it was over and Susan looked at Beth who looked up at her.

The next part of the plan was supposed to involve Susan but as she looked down she realized she could never do it – she was covered in blood. Beth on the other hand had almost none on her. “You’ll have to do it Bethie,” she said. Beth returned her gaze silently, her eyes huge in her face, then she shook herself. She had to think of Daddy, Maggie and Glen. Merle. What would Merle do?

Beth wiped Negan’s blood off of the top of the soda can. It was half empty. She topped it off with rum and drank it as fast as she could. If Merle was going to go down he’d definitely do it with liquor in his belly. She felt the liquor soaking into her and she nodded grimly. “Do it,” she said to Susan, and Susan reached back and punched Beth as hard as she could on the side of the face. Beth fell to the floor crying. “Give me a minute,” she said and Susan stroked Beth’s face when she sat up. “I’m so sorry baby. Just this last thing Bethie and never again. You’ll be with your man til the end of days, and me too.” The women steeled each other and Beth walked towards the door.

Beth tottered on the high heels that Negan made her wear during sex. She hoped this was the very last day of her life she’d ever have to wear these degrading clothes. She took a deep breath at the penthouse door before she opened it. The alcohol was making her dizzy but it did give her strength. And an alibi.

She stumbled through the door with the rum bottle, softly closing it behind her and walked unsteadily a few steps before she stopped and straightened herself out. She pretended to be surprised to see a gunman there. She smiled and swayed a little bit as his eyes struggled to glare into her own. “What you doin’ out here?” he growled. Beth smiled. “Hi. Jacobs, right?” Jacobs spat, “Yeah. Answer my question.” Beth walked closer to him and as she emerged from the shadows he could see her golden hair and wide blue eyes. “Negan sent me,” she smiled. 

Jacobs’ eyes narrowed. “Why?” he asked suspiciously. Beth looked down to the floor then looked back up to him making her eyes as innocent and wide as possible. The side of her face was swelling and bruising. “It’s a little embarrassing,” she whispered. “I’m being punished.” Jacobs sidled, still not buying it. “Fer what?” he questioned. “Well,” she said. “I never really drank before and I guess I had too much and when I tried to…..well you know…with Negan..” She forced some tears to trickle down her face and her shoulders slumped. She sniffled. “I threw up,” she whispered. “He was really mad. He’s cleaning up right now.”

Beth looked down at the ground then took a drink out of the rum bottle. “He said there was three men out here keeping watch. I’m supposed to…to….” She looked up at Jacobs entreatingly. Jacobs was feasting his eyes on Beth’s body. Leftovers from Negan were rare and something to be treasured. Beth took a step towards him and offered him the bottle. “I asked if I could choose you and he said yes,” she said. “And he gave me this,” she pulled the office key out from the top of her thigh high stocking. “He said he doesn’t want to see your dick and he doesn’t want anyone else seeing me. He told me not to come back until I’d learned something useful.”

Jacobs approached Beth and looked down into her eyes, holding her gaze for a long time, then he snaked his hand down to her crotch and fingered her. Beth flinched a little but kept eye contact with him. “Will you help me?” she asked. “Fuck yes,” growled Jacobs, shoving her towards the office down the hall. He didn’t see Beth smile in relief.

TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD

 

The lunch horn in the office was used to assemble the crowds for Negan’s speeches. One pull of the horn meant that everyone was to assemble in the yard within five minutes. Two pulls meant immediately. Three pulls was an emergency signal reserved for imminent danger such as a tornado or formal armored attack, something that had never before happened. Beth kept Jacobs’ gun trained on him as she firmly pulled the horn three times.

TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD

Induce chaos. Well hell, thought Merle grimly. Been doin’ that my whole life, first time it’ll ever be fer somethin’ good. People milled around nervously and Rick’s group split up. Carl spread the news that a twister was comin’, Daryl and Carol told everyone it was a huge herd, Merle assured everyone it was nothing, and Maggie and Glen told everyone that helicopters and military vehicles had been sighted. Hershel looked serious and tried to enlist people to pray with him. No one knew where Michonne was. 

Susan and Beth shivered on the walkway and told the guards that Negan had already gone down. They tried to appear frantic asking the guards what was happening as the guards bolted down the stairs. When they were alone they looked at each other then they ran back to the penthouse to get their regular clothes on. Beth hurriedly threw on her jeans, cowboy boots, tank top and flannel shirt. She looked at Negan’s blue face as they ran out the door. She wondered what it meant that she couldn’t find it in her tender heart to pray for him.

TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDT

All it had taken was the suggestion that walkers had entered the compound and the milling crowd had turned into a melee. The prison group had been able to subdue several guards to get their weapons and they headed to the motor pool using the confusion to cover them. The commandeered two large armored vehicles and paused to confirm the plan. Daryl hung out of the driver side door of the first car to talk to Merle. “Meet up at the farm later,” said Daryl, chewing his thumb out of worry. “Opposite directions outta here,’ said Merle and Daryl nodded. Daryl looked at a pregnant and strained Carol. “Gotta keep her with Hershel,” he said and Merle nodded. “Go on,’ said Merle.

“I’m waitin’ for Beth,” yelled Maggie out of the second vehicle. “No you’re not Maggie,” frowned Glen who was driving. “In your condition you need to stay with your dad.” Michonne appeared with Luke and his two kids, her eyes shifting back and forth. “Took three of ‘em out on the way,” she said. “Somebody found Negan, now there’s a power grab goin’ on. Shots are going to fly soon. We need to go now.”

Luke was shoving his kids into the second vehicle and Michonne followed. “I’ll protect them,” she said to him. Automatic gunfire sounded in the mill and Merle yelled, “Go!” Daryl man hugged Merle then jumped in the drivers seat. “Later bro,” he said and he pulled out of the gates. The second car proceeded and Michonne shut the gates, turning once to give Merle a long look then jumping in the car. They disappeared in two clouds of dust heading due east. 

Beth and Susan ran around the corner, Susan was holding Beth up and Merle yelled, “She hurt?” Susan shook her head no and yelled, “No, get the car!” Merle and Luke had loaded a SUV with guns and ammo and had it idling. They ran towards the women and Merle grabbed Beth around the waist, picking her up, running to the SUV and throwing her in the back. Luke took the drivers seat and Merle opened the gate. He shut the gate behind the vehicle and weaved to avoid the spray of bullets coming from the men now pursuing them. He jumped in the passenger seat and pointed. “Due west,” he ordered.

 

Author note: Please review, it keeps me going!


	4. Rebirth 4

AUTHOR NOTE: Hi All! Well…..I've read all the Walking Dead comics and I'm…..I'm…I'm (don't hate me) I'm almost torn between loving Merle and Negan. Is it horrible that I want Negan to ping pong all over my ti**ies like he said in the comic book? Negan or Merle? Merle or Negan? Negan does make Merle look like a housewife…..but Merle is redeemable. Gaa! Give me advice in your reviews! OK, here's the next part of our story!

 

In all the confusion only two vehicles followed the SUV from the mill, the inhabitants still operating under the belief that Negan was alive and that they were under orders to retrieve the escapees. Luke drove quickly while Merle hung out the window to trade shots with the trucks behind them. Beth and Susan sat on the floorboard catching the empty clips that Merle threw into the back seat and reloading for him. After some harrowing decisions involving blocked roads and near vertical ditches Luke was able to lose their pursuers.

After declaring the road safe Beth and Susan rose from the floorboard and sat in the back seat. Susan hung her arms around Luke's neck from behind, laughing and kissing his temple. Beth looked up in shock at Merle who could see something wasn't right with her. His arm snaked out to touch her and she leaned forward hesitantly to let him cup her chin. "Little girl," he rumbled. Beth suddenly felt sick. "Pull over!" she said, fumbling for the door handle. The SUV was barely stopped before she fell onto the ground retching. Susan darted through the door and was at Beth's side while Merle still fumbled with the door handle with his right hand.

"OK baby, it's OK. I know it sucks but you had to do it. Get it all out now," Susan crooned as Beth heaved and cried. Susan looked up at Merle who was crouched at Beth's side with a flashlight, looking concerned. "She's got half a bottle of rum in her," said Susan softly. "He made her. She's going to feel rotten for a while." Merle's expression hardened and he got up to get a bottle of water out of the truck and brought it to Susan. Susan brushed Beth's hair away from her face and helped her drink. She looked up to see Merle furiously pacing in the dark, cursing under his breath. He had a really good idea of the type of shit Negan had forced Beth into and he had no idea how to deal with it. Beth had told Susan a lot about Merle and as Susan watched him rage she knew that the couple had their challenges cut out for them.

Susan helped Beth stand unsteadily and supported her while Beth wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Merle looked up and pulled the rag out of his back pocket as he walked towards Beth. He used a little of the water to wet it and gently wiped her face off. Beth looked at the V of his shirt, unable to meet his eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. Merle took in her bruised cheek and bleary eyes and silently ground his teeth in futility. Susan put her hand on his arm and said, "We need to keep moving even though it's dark. Merle, would you mind sitting in back so I can sit with Luke?" Merle nodded and helped Beth get into the back of the SUV. Once in he took off his prosthetic and reached for her with his good arm. "Come on," he said gruffly. "Ya need ta sleep."

Beth hesitantly scooted over and as they got on their way Merle was able to coax her into leaning against his chest. Beth's stomach roiled and her head pounded. Her heart hammered at the unwanted feeling of hands on her. She didn't think she had any more tears to cry and she was suddenly disoriented and panicked. She shoved the fear down and leaned against him, shaking. He looked down at her and slowly slid his arm around her. "Just you and me," he said against her hair. She buried her face under his arm stiffly and tried to breathe, sure that she would never sleep again.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Hours later Beth opened her eyes. She was stretched across the back seat with her head in Merle's lap. She was nauseated and there was a sharp drilling pain behind her eyeballs. She closed her eyes again to avoid the sunlight. Her mouth was dry and tasted terrible and her body was tacky with stale sweat. This is what a hangover feels like, she thought. Why do people drink? This isn't fun at all.

She could tell by the way Merle was sitting that he was asleep too. It was early morning and she could see that the interior of the SUV was dark blue. Luke and Susan were talking softly in the front seat and Luke was driving much faster than he was able to at night. Beth sat up stiffly and Merle's arms tightened around her. "Where are we?" asked Beth. Luke turned his head briefly to her. He smiled. "Thank God, I was hoping you two would wake up. I really have to pee."

A giggle escaped Beth as Susan looked at her with her eyes dancing in laughter. Susan was glowing with happiness and Beth was so happy for her friend. Beth reached her arm out to Susan and Susan took her hand briefly and smiled. She heard Merle grunt and she turned her head. He was looking at her intently. Beth smiled widely at the sight of him and threw herself back into his arms. "I smell bad," she whispered, laughing and crying at the same time. "Yer beautiful angel," said Merle, holding her tightly to him. "Wanna see ya smile like that every day, hear?" Beth nodded sharply and tightened her arms around him as Luke pulled into an open area to switch drivers.

Everyone took the chance to relieve themselves, get some water and eat some granola bars. Merle and Luke spread the map out on the hood of the SUV to track their progress while Susan and Beth watched for walkers. When Beth went behind a tree and dropped her pants she was sickened to see that she still wore the underthings that Negan had forced on her. In the rush to get out of the mill they had just thrown their clothes on over their clothes. Tears stung her eyes. Merle deserves so much better, she thought. Why would he want me? The tops of her legs and parts of her privates were rubbed raw from the cheap fabric.

It took her a few minutes to compose herself and she tried to stand off by herself for a while but Susan approached her. "Beth what's wrong?" she asked, putting her hand on Beth's cheek. Beth looked down and fought the tears, she could feel Luke and Merle looking at her. "Please," she whispered to Susan. "Can we get clothes?" Susan pulled her into a hug. "First chance we get," she assured her. Susan looked at the men over the top of Beth's head and shook her head at them so they wouldn't question her.

When Beth went to the back of the SUV to get a water bottle Susan approached them. "We need to stop soon for clothes," she said in a tone that invited no questions and them men nodded. Merle growled in frustration when Beth got into the passenger side without raising her eyes from the ground. She had seemed so happy when she woke up and now she was just as sad as before. When he got in the drivers seat he handed her the map. "Ya know the route?" he asked. She looked up quickly and nodded. "Head southwest to keep up the diversion and at LaGrange turn northeast to get to the farm." She met Merle's eyes and looked back down at the map. "Yeah little girl," he said quietly. "Gonna get you back home." He popped the SUV into gear and they made their way through roadblocks and walker herds with no sign of anyone following them.

Beth drifted off a few times, the hangover and events of the night before draining her. She shook herself awake with resolve. Luke and Susan were wrapped up in each others arms in the back, sound asleep. Merle needed someone to stay awake with him. She began calculating distances on the map. She asked Merle some questions about the mill and was able to indicated it on the map with a pen. She continued to mark the prison, Woodbury, the farm, and places they had raided for supplies along the way. She kept an eye on the mile markers and road signs. "It's 28 miles to LaGrange," she said. "From there it's 49 miles by highway to the farm."

Merle snorted softly. "Gonna take a week easy," he said. "Need gas, food, water. Just about outta ammo." He looked at her. "Ya gotta weapon?" he asked. She shook her head. He motioned to the glove compartment. "Ya take that .38 there. Remember how ta use it?" She opened the glove compartment and looked at the revolver. Memories came flooding back to her of him teaching her to shoot at the prison, holding her close and nuzzling her neck. Gotta learn this little girl, aint wantin ta lose ya he had rasped into her ear. She bit her lip hard to not cry. "Yes," she said faintly.

At mid-afternoon they came upon a town with a large farm supply store. The walkers in the parking lot were light. "This is where we stock up," said Merle over his shoulder to rouse the sleeping couple behind him. Luke and Susan sat up. They parked on an overpass and assessed the lot for a while. "Piece of cake after what we went through earlier," said Luke. "We all go in."

TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD

Overall the run inside was successful and they were able to load up on ammo, blankets, dry food, fresh water bottles, knives, clothes and toiletries. Beth donned the largest backpack she could find and cleaned out the candy aisle as well as packing sterno cans, vegetable seeds and batteries. She didn't care if the candy smelled like death, she was going to air it out and eat it.

By the time they were done loading the SUV it was approaching dark. "Damned good haul," said Merle. "Need ta find a place ta bed down for tha night." Luke scratched his head. "We can drive while you sleep," he said but Merle resisted. "Headlights and movement gonna draw every walker in the area. Best ta stay still." Merle drove them to a clearing near a small rise and they stopped. After Luke and Merle scouted and took out the stray walkers and the women scouted.

There was a bubbling stream with a deep spot that was perfect for bathing. They set up a small fire nearby and all looked at each other. "Y'all go first," said Merle to Susan and Luke who looked up hopefully but Beth cleared her throat nervously. "I thought Susan and I could go together," she said quickly. Susan rubbed Luke's arm apologetically and said, "Of course, let's go."

The water was cool and it soothed Beth's naked body. She dunked her head and floated, trying to follow waterbugs without disturbing the water. Susan was scrubbing her hair with shampoo and Beth watched the suds float by in the pool. She ducked and savored the smell of the damp logs and water. She felt an ache deep in her body as she thought of the pond near the farm. Soon. Home.

She walked to the edge and retrieved the soap and shampoo, scrubbing every trace of the rum and the mill and Negan off of her. Except…, she thought. No, don't think of it. Susan was already climbing into her new clothes and Beth was eager to do the same. She left her jeans, tank top and old boots on the stream bank and climbed into the baggy new sweats and new hiking boots she had taken from the farm store. Perfect to sleep in she thought. She reveled in the feel of normal underwear. Nothing she was wearing could be construed in any way as sexy.

They smiled at the men when they returned and they switched off. Merle doubled back to check on Beth and watched her for a moment from cover of the trees. She had come back from the river with something dark clutched in her hand that she now threw in the fire. He watched her face as the flames leapt up to consume the object. Her eyes were hollow and her face was tortured. He watched as Susan rubbed her back in comfort then he turned back to the stream. He was grim and thoughtful as he washed and when they returned he stirred the fire and he found a scrap of red trimmed black lace.

TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTW TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD

Merle reclined the bench seat as far as it would go and lay a sleeping bag down. "Get on up in there sugar," he said to a yawning Beth. He followed her in and locked the doors, checking his pockets to make sure he had the key. Luke and Susan were on watch and were looking forward to some alone time by the fire. Merle stretched out on his side and held up his arm expectantly and Beth scooted in. "I'm glad I brushed my teeth," she said. Merle chuckled. "You and me both." Beth gasped. "Merle!" she protested softly slapping his chest. He chuckled again and she settled into his embrace. She could feel his heart beat through his wife beater and that with his familiar smell soothed her.

"Ya gonna let me kiss you?" he asked with a gravelly voice. She moved her head back to look at him and he felt himself drown in her huge violet eyes. He slowly brought his lips to hers and kissed her gently. Her mouth, tense at first, relaxed with his touch and he pulled her into him, careful to keep his kiss light. Gradually her hands rose to touch his face, tracing the creases and ruffling his hair. She kept her eyes open so she could see him, not wanting to imagine for even a second that it was Negan. This is Merle, this is my love she told herself.

Merle's hand went up to stroke her face, then her hair and down her neck. This is where she belonged, here with him with the moon shining through the window making her skin glow. He deepened his kiss slightly, not wanting to spook her and her hands clutched softly at his chest. He drew away slightly. "I love ya," he said softly. She looked up at him and he saw the shame cross her face. She began to cry. "Why Merle?" she asked. "I'm not….." She bared her teeth and sobbed. "You should find somebody better."

Merle growled and gently grabbed her chin. "You look at me. Look at me," he repeated. She complied, her face twisted in agony. He continued, "Yer all I need. Yer all I want. Aint nothin' more in my life than you. You got that?" Beth sobbed and tried to look down but he wouldn't let her. "I'm gettin' ya home to ya farm. We gonna have them babies ya want and I'm gonna marry ya right on the front porch. And I aint never lettin' ya go." His eyes were burning into her and she moved her face to the side of his barely controlling her sobs. He clutched her tightly and she pressed the side of her face into his. "Merle," she cried plaintively into his neck. She felt herself coming undone. "Let it out," he rasped and he held her as she shook and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry," she cried and Merle shushed her. "Let it out," he murmured. He stroked her back and kissed her head until she passed out from exhaustion.


	5. Rebirth 5

FEVER

Beth lay paralyzed in the depths of the nightmare, Negan's leering blue face moving rhythmically above her as he thrust deeper and deeper inside of her. Hot blood boiled out of the gaping slice in his neck with each thrust, pouring into her nose and running down the back of her throat. She gasped and fought uselessly, the buckle and strap of his biker jacket slapping against her sides as his warm blood bubbled out of her mouth and cut off her air. "it's our fuckin' baby", he groaned in her ear as he came. "But you can't have it." He stiffened with the force of his orgasm and threw his head back, the clean cut exposing his severed trachea and vessels, and Beth screamed.

Merle awoke to Beth struggling in his arms, she was frantically grasping for breath and when she suddenly kneed him in the crotch he saw stars. "OOOF", he exhaled sharply as the pain shot through his body. "Fuck," he swore, seeing that she was obviously in the throes of a nightmare. Snot was bubbling out of her nose and her face was twisted in fear. Her body burned in his arms. "Slow down there, little girl," he said through gritted teeth, trying not to curl around his bruised testicles. "Slow down," he repeated. Beth gasped and stiffened and he loosened his grip on her, hoping to calm her. Beth stilled, opening her eyes and he watched her take in the dark vehicle interior, the glow of the campfire, the moon shining through the window. He could tell even as she calmed that her eyes were unfocused and her breathing was too shallow to be normal. He could tell something was wrong.

Beth's head crackled with pain and her sinuses felt like they were filled with concrete. She felt burning hot and her throat was swollen and sore. She was confused, disoriented, poised to fight for her life but too exhausted to move. It took several minutes for her to get her bearings and she finally focused on Merle. "Merle," she tried to say, but it came out only as a dry croak. She unconsciously raised her hand to her throbbing throat and looked at him in despair.

"We gotta hole up fer a stretch," he said, and she nodded faintly agreement.

"Strep", said Susan decisively, her hand on Beth's forehead. "She's been on the razor's edge of stress for the last two months and now that her defenses are down, it's taken over. I used to see it all the time with newlyweds stressed about their weddings - as soon as the ceremony was done and they got to the honeymoon one of them would come down with it." Merle looked at her appraisingly and Susan ghosted a smile. "Wedding planner," she said to answer the question he didn't ask. Merle huffed and stroked Beth's fevered head. "Weren't much ta plan with Dixon weddings," he mused. "If ya knocked someone up and you was still in town, you was gettin' married." Susan laughed, her eyes crinkling, and Merle exhaled a short laugh. They briefly both thought of the old world – a world in which they would have never interacted. Then both of their thoughts turned to the farm, where Susan and Luke's kids awaited their parents and Merle's niece or nephew awaited birth. Merle's steely gaze met hers and he stated, "We regroup. Then we go."

The rash bloomed across Beth's face the next day. She slumped against the window, her body weak and achy. The others did their best to get her to drink water regularly but she steadfastly refused to eat, even for Merle. She just looked at him impassively and shook her head when he tried to get food near her mouth. The sun beat down mercilessly as they slowly made their way through vacated towns and dilapidated roads, driving on gas fumes because of a long detour they had to take to get around a herd of walkers. They finally stopped at a station in a small town and Merle and Luke were able to siphon a few gallons of gas out of the vehicles on the racks to partially fill the gas tank. When they rejoined the highway Beth watched the pavement starting to roll past the window. The sun parched her and she felt the sandpaper rash spreading to her trunk and then her extremities. Dry heaving, she begged them to stop but when finally could open the door, she collapsed in a heap, not to wake up for days.


	6. Rebirth 6

WHITEWATER

At the farm.......

Maggie grabbed the wooden beam in the center of the barn floor and gritted her teeth. Her fingernails dug into the rough wood. This is not a contraction, she thought. I refuse to have this baby now, this is not happening. Sweat dripped off her face into the dust at her feet and when the pain subsided she rested her forehead on it in relief. She and her siblings had grown up in this barn, making the happiest memories of her childhood – playing in the hayloft, swinging from the rafters, hanging show ribbons on the horse stalls after the county fair, cleaning tack during rainstorms. She smiled when she remembered losing her virginity in this very barn to Johnny Lee Butler. She had been 15 years old and her brother Shawn had almost seen them but they hid behind a huge pile of wood shavings that Hershel bought to bed the stalls. A few years later when a 14-year old Beth found Maggie’s birth control pills, Beth had been scandalized. Maggie still remembered the surprise in Beth’s voice as she exclaimed, “Maggie, how could you, you’re not married!” It had been beyond Beth’s reality that such a thing could happen. And now the world has ended, thought Maggie grimly, and the reality is that Beth’s not here.

The next pain seared through her and Maggie panicked. Less than 5 minutes apart, she thought wildly, fuck these aren’t just cramps. She staggered to a stall and bit down on the leather of a horse halter hanging on the front of it. She tried to calm herself and breathe deeply through the contraction then exhaled sharply when it ended. She needed to find Glen. She walked quickly to the barn entrance holding her belly with both hands. “Glen,” she screamed, and over the hilltop came Carl running down, gun in hand. She clutched her belly and yelled, “Carl, the baby’s comin’, get Glen!” Carl skidded to a halt and nodded sharply, then turned on his heel and disappeared over the hill. Maggie felt something pop then felt warm liquid uncontrollably running down her legs. “No,” whispered Maggie to herself. “Not without Beth.” A group of people came running over the hill and the remainder of the day and night were a blur for Maggie - endless minutes of walking through contractions then finally laying on the warm, dry horse blankets with Carol wiping her forehead and soothing her, Glen telling her to stay strong for the baby. In the early morning hours Hershel told her to push and when morning’s light came she and Glen were holding their beautiful perfect new life. Maggie held the swaddled baby close and Glen stroked the soft hair on her sweet head. “We could call her Beth,” said Glen hesitantly, and Maggie turned to him. “No,” she said, choking the words out through a sob. “There’s only one Beth, and she is coming and she is going to be the best Aunt in the world”. 

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Elsewhere.....

The sign said Whitewater.

Neither Merle nor Susan or Luke had heard of it. They knew that this settlement had likely been under Negan’s control but did the people here know that Negan was dead? And had they valued Negan’s protection over his price? How loyal were they to him? Fuck, this could be walking into a deathtrap. All three took a look at Beth who was slumped in the back seat, her eyes were glassy and a fiery red rash covered her face and body. She needed antibiotics, and they needed a plan. They argued for 15 minutes, trying to think of every conceivable outcome until finally Merle exclaimed, “Fuck this shit!” He looked at Susan and Luke then shook his head ruefully. “Ain’t never said this in my life, but I think honesty is the best policy. Y’all can stay back and I’ll go in.” Luke and Susan laughed grimly, appreciating the irony of the situation. “Well,” said Susan. “I think If one goes, we all go, there’s no more choices. They may shoot us on the spot. If they do, it was nice knowing you Merle.” Merle nodded and the three of them shook hands, knowing that the next five minutes could either save them all or sign all of their death warrants. Merle reached over to touch Beth’s hair then he straightened. “I’ll drive,” he said, and he swung into the drivers seat.

They drove to the entrance of the compound with exaggerated care to show that they posed no threat. There was almost no discernable movement at the fence but they knew that they had been sighted and were being watched closely. “Now we walk,” said Merle. Slowly they opened the doors and exited the vehicle with their arms raised. They threw their weapons on the ground in front of them, watching warily to make sure no walkers were nearby. Merle opened the back door and scooped Beth up in his arms then walked slowly to the front of the car to join Susan and Luke. There was still no movement at the fence. Luke cleared his throat then shouted, “WHITEWATER! We need help and we can give you our weapons and a lot of survival experience.” They waited a few minutes then they saw two small sliding doors open in the fence. A rough voice rang out, “You with Negan?” Merle shook his head then advanced a few steps, Beth’s body dangling limply in his arms. He lifted her in the direction of the voice and shouted, “No we ain’t with Negan. Mah wife killed that motherfucker.”

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Beth dreamed that she was in the desert and that the hot winds were driving sand across her exposed skin. She shook her head in protest but the winds drowned out her cries. The sand caught in the back of her throat and it scoured her lungs. The water evaporated from her body and she was a dry husk burning in the sun. Soon she would be part of the earth.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Beth rose out of the darkness to feel a cool hand stroking her face. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking in the sunlight, and tensing when she did not recognize her surroundings. “Shh,” whispered Susan who sat by the side of the bed with a book in her lap. “I’m here with you Beth.” Beth turned her head towards the voice and took in scene. She saw that Susan sat next to her dressed in a fresh set of clothes. The room was well lit-with oak paneling and cheerful red-striped curtains on the window that matched the blocks of red in the comforter that covered her. There was a dresser in the room and a nightstand next to the bed. On the nightstand were two bottles of water, a small cup with a spoon in it, and two pharmacy bottles. A print on the wall depicted a famous painting, Beth combed her memory for it....It’s by Monet, Beth thought to herself, the bridge over the waterlilies. She had never formally learned about the painting in school but had seen pictures of it before, everyone had. The cheap print was strangely comforting in its banality.

She turned again towards Susan who was industriously grinding antibiotics in the small cup with the spoon. Susan talked as she dribbled water into the mixture, telling Beth that her strep throat had progressed to scarlet fever on the road and how they had limped into Whitewater. She stirred the bitter mixture and spooned it into Beth’s mouth, commanding her to swallow. Beth complied, grimacing but happy to be conscious. “Bottom line is,” continued Susan as she wiped Beth’s mouth, “we’re safe for the time being. Luckily someone who had been captured from the Whitewater group escaped Negan’s compound when we killed him, and they got here before we did. Everything we told the people at the Whitewater gate agreed with what this person had already told them....including the rumor that you and I killed Negan.” 

Beth sat up quickly, steeling her empty stomach against the harsh antibiotics and the nauseating memory of Negan’s murder. She burped then gagged and Susan quickly handed her a piece of bread to eat. When Beth got the bread down and drank some more water she felt markedly better and leaned back against the pillows, sighing with relief. Susan gave her a sponge bath and left, promising to return with Merle, and Beth sagged weakly into bed, looking at the Monet print. 

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

It took a week for Beth to lose the redness of her rash and for a few days afterwards she was beset by an inordinate amount of itching as the affected areas peeled off. Susan and Merle took turns sharing rations with her until she gained some weight back and could walk around the compound without getting dizzy. They had several meetings with the leaders of Whitewater detailing what they knew of Negan’s operation and telling them about the prison. Merle and Luke were put on sentry duty, but were never allowed to work together. The people of Whitewater were beginning to grudgingly trust them but were understandably wary of being overthrown.

Beth and Merle stayed in the room where she had first woken up, it was small but it had a double bed and they got a few hours of electricity every night from gas generators. The first week they both slept like the dead, falling asleep almost instantly when they hit the pillows. As time passed and they fell into a regular schedule they began to enjoy the intimacy that most couples take for granted, reveling in the simple pleasure of lying in bed and holding each other and talking into the wee hours. Beth’s naturally sunny demeanor returned, and Merle marveled at seeing her bright smile first thing in the morning. She would beam at him with her hair looking like a haystack and her eyes still heavy with sleep and he was awed that a woman so beautiful and good could love him. Beth loved sleeping with him because for the first time since the world fell she finally felt safe. In the early morning she’d silently watched him wake up, her heart bursting with love for the man that she knew would sacrifice everything for her. She loved his worn face, his bruiser’s body, and the short curly brown hair that she combed through her fingertips. She knew she’d never again be able to sleep without his warm bulk next to her.

They were relieved to get fresh clothes in Whitewater, including a new tank top and sleep shorts for Beth. The navy blue of the pajamas offset her creamy skin and blonde hair to perfection and the new fabric was incredibly soft, consequently it didn’t take long for Merle to lose control of the erections that popped up as soon as she put on her sleep clothes and snuggled into him. It didn’t help that as Beth began to psychologically recover from her time with Negan, heavy petting became more of a nightly ritual. The new boxers that Merle wore to bed didn’t do much to hide his arousal, so he found himself whacking off in the bathroom nightly while Beth slept. Even with this precaution, it was becoming more and more problematic for both of them to control their desires. Beth’s young body began to respond to Merle’s touch, causing a conflict between her wants and her fears. One night she burst into tears, apologizing profusely and telling him to find someone else who could give him everything he needed. Merle ground his teeth and held her to him, calming her and telling her he wasn’t going anywhere. 

One night Merle was awakened by her writhing against him and he, only half awake, instinctually began to make love to her. As he sucked her sweet nipples she arched against him and he slipped her shorts off to gently stroke her slick sex. She clutched him to her and panted passionately as he slowly entered her and began to rock back and forth, groaning in pleasure. At that point the erotic dream Beth was having changed and she saw Negan’s leering face above her, thrusting into her. She stiffened and cried out, pushing Merle off and scrambling sideways to fall off of the side of the bed, clutching the bedsheet to her naked body. When her eyes adjusted she could see by the moonlight streaming in that she wasn’t at Negan’s compound, but instead in her Whitewater bedroom, and that Merle was siting on the other side of the bed, hunched over his bruised genitals and cursing. Beth reacted with horror. “Oh God Merle,” she cried tremulously. Muttering, Merle stood, punched a hole in the wall then left, slamming the door on his way to the bathroom. He was eventually able to urinate then splashed some cold water on his face. He went outside to smoke a cigarette then, calmer, went back to the bedroom. He found Beth crying hysterically in bed and when he entered she ran to him, hugging him and apologizing through her tears. He ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room for the rest of the night, tortured in the knowledge that Beth was alone, but knowing that for now he needed a little distance.

 

From Athlete Girl: It looks like it’s one step forward and two steps back for our couple, maybe in the next chapter they can work things out with a little help from their friends ☺


	7. Rebirth 7

Beth felt the trickle before she opened her eyes. She cautiously put her hand under her sleep shorts and drew it back to see the beginnings of her period staining her fingers. She sat up, looking around the room that was lit with morning sun, then she wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. Thank you God.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

The next few days were hectic at Whitewater, a large group had left on a supply run and the rest had to cover day and night shifts on watch. Susan, Luke, Merle and Beth all did their share and when the return of the party was delayed Luke and Merle volunteered for double shifts. Merle and Beth hardly had time to speak to each other over hurried meals, and Merle was so tired that when he did finally make it to bed he just rolled in with his clothes still on. When she came in Beth pulled his boots off and tenderly covered him with a blanket, tears dripping silently off of her chin. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about the other night and the thought that she had hurt him ate at her.

With a heavy heart Beth sough Susan out and found her sorting through the food that came in from the run. “Can we talk?” asked Beth and Susan saw the pain in Beth’s eyes. Susan invited Beth to sit with her. As Beth helped her sort, the story started to pour from her, and Susan comforted her as she hiccupped and sobbed. Susan hugged her tightly when she was done. “Beth,” she said reassuringly. “You can’t just snap your fingers and expect to immediately recover from what you’ve been through. Please, go easy on yourself.” She looked at Beth questioningly. “Do you like it when Merle touches you?” Beth nodded sharply and Susan sighed. “Have you told him about the things that happened to you before?” she ventured. Beth shook her head. “No, I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already have.” Susan half smiled at her and said “Sweetie, your body is ready but your head needs more time, especially since you were scared about possibly being pregnant. There’s no shame in that. I’ll have a word with Merle if you like.” Beth smiled gratefully then shook her head, once again feeling blessed for having such a wonderful friend. “Thanks Susan but I think this is a conversation that I need to have with him.” 

And the next day when Merle and Beth’s schedules were back to normal and they had a normal bedtime, Beth did just that. She and Merle had settled down, his arms encircling her and her forehead tipped against his chest. She began haltingly, her body shaking and her voice quavering as she recalled her nightmarish time in Negan’s harem. Merle held her stiffly and she could feel the force of his jaws clenching and unclenching as he ground his teeth in helpless anger. Starting the conversation had been hard, but as she continued to unload her burden the clenching pain in her chest that she had carried with her since their escape began to ease, and she was able to breathe more freely. When she was finally done speaking she sat up to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. She hazarded a glance at Merle who was up on one elbow staring into the middle distance. His eyes were flat and cold and his face was expressionless. Then in one swift motion he wordlessly spun off the bed and threw on his clothes and shoes. Beth bit her lip and closed her eyes as the door slammed on his way out. She knew that he needed to work it out on his own. She went to the bathroom then padded back to bed, yawning and suddenly very tired.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Merle attacked the large pile of wooden pallets with a crowbar, saliva frothing out of his mouth and woodchips flying into his face and hair. With every strike he saw Negan’s grinning face. Sweat poured off his body as he howled in rage and despair.

 

Beth was awakened at dawn by the sound of the shower running. She remained motionless as Merle entered the bedroom and crawled into bed. When he lay down she turned over and tucked herself under his arm, snaking her arm across his chest and smiling in relief when she felt his muscles relax under her touch.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Over the next few days Beth felt her lightheartedness return. She felt as if the world had been lifted off of her shoulders and the smile returned to her face. She noticed that Merle was more taciturn than usual and she knew it was because he was still processing what she had told him. She caught up with him in the armory where he was frowning over a pile of gun parts. She cleared her throat and he looked up at her. “I want to thank you Merle. I feel so much better since I told you what was running around in my head. Thank you so much for listening,” she said. Merle appraised her solemnly then snorted as he lifted his arm up for her to embrace him. “Just about gave me a heart attack,” he muttered, looking down at her smiling face, “but I guess we needed to get it out there.” Beth grinned up at him brightly and he bent down for a long kiss. She hugged him tightly and enjoyed feeling good. Later that night over dinner there was a new sense of ease between them and she knew that they were now heading for a new future.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Beth was having a wonderful erotic dream. She was warm and safe and Merle’s body was pressed up against her in the most sensual way. His strong hand was stroking her in her most private of places and her body sang under his touch. She sighed and moved her hips in time with his ministrations and felt the warmth in her pussy intensify and spread. She shook with the pleasure of it and moaned as the waves overtook her, causing her to shudder and cry out in ecstasy. His strong arms held her gently and she lay back smiling, the most relaxed she’d ever been.

When Beth awoke the sun was streaming through the window and Merle was gone. She smiled, knowing he had left quietly to let her sleep in a little bit. She stretched languorously, recalling the wonderful dream, then looked down in surprise to find that she was nude. She sat up and saw that her pajamas were on the floor at the foot of the bed. She placed her hand between her legs and gasped in surprise. It hadn’t been a dream! She laughed with relief and joy, then set out to find her man.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Dinner couldn’t end soon enough for Beth Greene!

As soon as the door was shut Beth melted into him, her arms circling around his waist. He kissed her slowly, teasing her mouth open and leaving her breathless as he pulled her up against him. He felt a tremble of anticipation go through her and he softly bit her lower lip, enjoying her soft moan. He pulled away slightly to look in her eyes, searching for fear but finding only excitement and hope. “You want me ta make you feel good?” he asked, his voice gravelly with desire. Beth nodded and her lips were on his again, her hands twisting in his shirt. “Please Merle,” she pleaded in between kisses. He pulled away again to softly kiss her neck and she ran her hand up his back to stroke his soft curls, gasping at the sensation of the bristles of his beard scraping her skin. He moved maddeningly slow and held her loosely so she wouldn’t feel trapped - and when he softly squeezed her ass he was rewarded by another tremble and moan. The way she was rubbing herself all over the front of him he figured he was doin’ A-OK. One of her hands was twisted in the back of his shirt and the other was wrapped in his hair and he guided her backwards to the bed then pushed her softly to sit on it.

He stood at the foot of the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor, then toed off his boots and whipped off his socks. She watched him, eyes sparkling and he could see she wanted him...no, she needed him to take charge. He kneeled in front of her and stroked her cheek with his left thumb as he brought his forehead to hers. “I aint never gonna hurt ya. I’ll fuckin’ die first,” he whispered and her hands came up to the sides of his face as she whispered, “I know”. He claimed her mouth, teasing first then going deep as she pulled him on top of her. He braced himself on his elbows so his body just brushed hers, he didn’t want to trigger her by crashing his weight down on her. She was unbuttoning her shirt and his mouth followed the trail revealed by her fingers, tasting the smooth valley between her breasts then lightly down her belly to her pants line. He nuzzled her shirt open and breathed in her scent, feeling his balls tighten and his cock swell against the front of his pants. He made his way back up to the small cups of her simple beige bra and gently pushed one cup aside with his left hand, and lifted his face to rub his nose on hers to give her time to protest. When she breathlessly kissed his mouth he softly plucked at the hard nipple, slowly pinching and pulling at the small gumdrop until she was writhing underneath him. He shifted his weight the pulled the other cup down, kissing her shoulder and collarbone while he gently tugged her other nipple. He noted with satisfaction that her thighs were feverishly rubbing together as she began to writhe. Her breath was coming in small pants and he had pleasured enough women to know that she was well on her way.

Beth’s hands moved of their own accord and she haphazardly undid her belt and pushed her pants down over her hips and down her thighs. Merle rolled to the side to allow her to rid herself of her boots and pants, then she lay back down, her hands nervously clutching at herself and him. He settled in beside her as he had during the nigh, giving himself full range of motion with his remaining hand, stroking her soothingly up and down her side to reassure her. He kissed her mouth as he worked her nipples and when she began to writhe he slowly worked his way south to the waistband of her panties. He ghosted his fingers over the waistband then brushed his knuckles ever so softly against the cotton covering her mound while he played his lips lightly against hers. 

“This where ya need some attention?” he whispered gruffly against her lips. Beth nodded breathlessly and arched her back to push up against his hand. He slowly traced his fingertips over her mound and between her legs, back and forth at a maddeningly slow pace until she urgently whispered his name. His touch lingered over her clit, lightly tracing circles over the damp fabric. “Right here?” he asked against her lips and Beth shook, whining in the back of her throat. He slowly drew his hand back up to the waistband then slipped his hand to stroke the silky tuft of golden hair. Beth was panting against his lips, her mouth partly open then she moaned aloud into his mouth when his fingers found their slippery target. “Touch you like this?” he said softly against her lips and he softly worked his fingers against her, maintaining a slow circular rhythm until her legs began to shake and her hands clutched his arm frantically. With a deft movement of his hand he whisked her panties down to her ankles then he trailed his hand up her leg to resume his ministrations. Her legs began to shake again and she was whispering his name. Merle pulled her knee further towards him to open her more fully. “Look at me,” he said, and when her eyes opened he held them with is own. “Yeah, right there, that’s what you need,” he affirmed soothingly and when her legs opened further he quickened the tempo until she coiled then bucked, throwing her head back and screaming his name as the vessels bunched in her slim neck. Merle lightened his touch, tenderly caressing her clit and sucking firmly on a nipple until her spasms subsided, leaving her weak and breathless against him. Her eyes opened and he smiled. “That’s my good girl,” he said, and he softly kissed her nearest shoulder as she caught her breath and came back down to earth. 

When her breathing stilled he reached over to pull the cups of her bra back over her exposed breasts then kissed her mouth gently. Her face was flushed and glowed with the sheen of well-earned sweat. The musky smell of her was everywhere and his cock strained against its prison, his balls already aching. He was going to have to take care of this because he sure as hell wasn’t going to haul a set of blue balls around for another few days. She smiled at him and he traced the swell of her hip with his free hand. “Be back in a minute,” he said, kissing her slowly then rolling off the side of the bed. The front of his pants tented painfully but at this point he didn’t give a shit if anyone saw him in the hallway, he needed to get to the bathroom. 

He stopped when she called his name and he turned back towards her. “Please don’t go,” she said, sitting up. Her pupils were shrinking, bringing her eyes back to deep blue and her face was concerned. He took a breath to reply but she stopped him. “Merle, make love to me. Please.” He shook his head, remembering her panic attack the last time they’d tried. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the terror in those blue eyes. “Merle,” said Beth, breaking him from the memory. Tears were building and spilling over onto her face. “Please”, she whispered.

She looked at him as he grimly approached the bed. She scooted to the other side to make room for him and smiled as he uncertainly undid his belt and dropped his pants. He kicked out of his underwear and she looked at his nude body for the first time. Everything about him was so different than what she knew, from his scars to his scent to his battle worn body. She knew enough of him now, enough to know who he was, enough to know that she was ready for this. As he climbed cautiously back into bed she unhooked her bra, dropping it to the side and reaching for him. They lay on their sides, facing each other and she smiled at him. She felt better when he was close. He ran his hand through her hair as she leaned in to kiss him, gradually scooting closer to touch her body to his. She ran her hands up his bare chest and around his shoulders, down his muscular forearms, then over his flat stomach and around his waist to his lower back, caressing every inch of him and thanking God for the gift of him.

She kissed him deeply and felt the tension building in his body, so she rolled onto her back and tugged him on top of her. She closed her eyes and kissed him, drawing him in to settle between her bent legs. Merle paused for a moment to look deeply into her eyes to search for any fear, then satisfied that she was OK, dropped his head to suckle one nipple then the next, groaning with pleasure. Beth gasped then smiled as her fingers wove into his short curly hair. Definitely Merle and not anyone else, she thought. He kissed his way down her tight belly and inhaled deeply when he nuzzled the patch of blonde fluff that was calling him home. The smell of her filled his nostrils and he couldn’t take the torture anymore. His forearms slid up the sheets and under her shoulders as his mouth sought hers once again. 

He gently pushed partway in, waiting to feel her reaction. Beth was surprised when the wave of pleasure washed over her and she heard herself moan breathlessly. Merle stopped, legs trembling and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did she nodded and he pulled back and pushed back in excruciatingly slowly, not taking his eyes off of hers. When he slid back deep into her G spot she felt a rush of dampness and moaned his name. Merle swore softly, he wasn’t going to last in her sweet tightness but he had to make this happen. “I got you baby,” he said, keeping his gravelly voice low. He kept the rhythm going by pulling out only a little then slowly sinking deep, and every time he hit that sweet spot she twitched and groaned. Soon Beth’s legs were shaking just like his were and she was clutching at him....fuck he wasn’t going to last... then the timbre of Beth’s voice changed and she called his name urgently. Fuck that was enough to make him come undone. Merle lost control and thrust raggedly as he stiffened and shot into her, again and again, hearing his own voice hoarsely swearing into her neck, unable to control his movements. As he came down he realized that Beth’s hands were on his ass, pulling him further into her as she ground against him and he found the strength to give her the final few thrusts that finally put her over the edge. Her young body twisted under him as she rode out her pleasure and she called his name over and over as her tight pussy twitched around him. He dropped his forehead onto her chest, spent, then when she quieted he rolled onto his back, pulling her up onto his chest. He mouthed her hair for a few minutes until she looked up at him, her eyes big enough to drown in and her hair spilling over her shoulders. She smiled at him and he grunted in return. The last thing he remembered before nodding off was her hand gently caressing his chest and her sleepy yawn.

Author note: reviews keep me going, please let me know how you like the new developments! - AG


End file.
